By Carl A. Ten Hoopen
Carl A. Ten Hoopen is the political and business reporter for the Evoraberg Independent
Washington: This afternoon President Trump will sign an Executive Order banning atmospheric disturbances on his birthday.
In response to questions, White House press secretary Karoline Leavitt told reporters, “President Trump believes that it is vital to the national and economic interest, in conjunction with honoring our American heroes, that we have a forecast of sky conditions, temperature, and wind conditions appropriate for the occasion. Any precipitation for the day is unacceptable and will result in further cuts to the National Weather Service budget.”
Washington: Secretary of State Rubio Aggressively Revokes Visas for Exchange Students
Secretary of State Marco Rubio has announced that visas for foreign exchange students with higher than above-average scores in Math and Science have been canceled.
“We can’t have foreign students coming to our country who out-perform our naturally born students,” the Secretary said in a brief statement.
American officials have expressed concern that American corporations recruit these foreign students for jobs that should go to U.S. citizens.
Evoraberg: Dutcher Farm Hiring
Fred Dutcher is looking to hire fifteen people to work this summer after receiving a legal notice from Homeland Security that migrant workers will be targeted regardless of their legal status. “I don’t know any folks around here who want to be in the crop fields,” he said.
Mr. Dutcher has emailed Tom Holman, the Trump Administration’s immigration czar. “I offered him $15 an hour to work. That’s well above the minimum wage. He’s got the job if he’s got proof of citizenship.”
Mr. Holman has yet to respond to either Mr. Dutcher’s email or our request for comment.
“Kinda leaves me wondering what he’s got to hide,” Dutcher said.
Blissfield: Blissfield Announces App Hall of Fame Scholarship
Blissfield School Superintendent Naomi Watanabe (渡辺) has announced that Brian Lickorish has been named this year’s App Hall of Fame Scholarship recipient. The scholarship is voted on by teachers who determine which student used Apps the least during class time. Brian is a member of the National Honor Society.
“He is focused on his academic pursuits, extracurricular involvement, and community service,” Ms. Watanabe (渡辺) said when presenting the $250 check at the high school graduation ceremony. Brian is headed to SUNY Binghamton for his first year with money in hand.
According to the student newspaper, Brian was also voted “The Most Unpopular Male Student In School.”
Image: “L” Club student at typewriter
Source: Lawrence University Archives
Charles van Heck's Woodhull Journal 
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